Looking back at a picture and realizing that you were/are beautiful or that your life was awesome, but you didn't feel it at the time, is a little sad. You realize "In that moment I had no idea who I was or how great what I had was. I should have loved and appreciated myself more."
( Casual Friday 07/14/12) and thinking about the time it was taken I was focused on the "negatives" in my life:
- The numbers on the scale weren't moving much even though I was working out hard and staying the course with the diet
- I felt stifled and undervalued at my job
- I didn't want to live in Salt Lake City any more
- It was difficult to start a fashion career in SLC
I should have realized I had a lot to be thankful for:
- The man standing behind the camera loved me like nobody's business
- I looked really pretty
- I was working out regularly, eating well, and getting healthier by the day
- I lived close to my families, shared a house with a cousin I adore, and had people all around me who I love
- I had a job that even though I didn't care for the actual job duties allowed me to be my free self
- I had created a creative outlet for myself where I could be expressive and immerse myself in something I am passionate about
- I had a volunteer position that made an actual difference in a cause I care deeply about
- I had two fur-babies who made my day, every day
I have come to realize the beauty in paying attention to the now; If you don't you may miss out on a lot. What I focus on, and my happiness, is completely up to me. Looking at life from the grateful point of view makes the experience completely different. It's totally changed my outlook, my contentment, my level of gratitude, and my ability to show love to others and myself. Yes, live for the future (if we are lucky we will get there), but now is all we actually have. Feel the now, be happy in it, and let your spirit be huge in it.
Thank you to those around me who have loved me, supported me, saw the good in me, and helped me grow. Thankfully for me the list is long; you know who you are. Like the song says "I'M HAPPY."